Originally Posted by PeanutButterCup

We had a guy who was very new in his sobriety lose his father last week, too, and he asked us to discuss grief and sobriety at one of our meetings. I wrote out what I shared, so I'll share it with you, too. Maybe it will help you as you move forward?

Here you go:
A young man who is very new to the program asked us to discuss loss, because he lost his dad this weekend. There was incredible information and understanding shared, and I was the last person in the circle to get to speak. I didn't want to simply reiterate all their thoughts, so I went a different direction.
I considered the 3 biggest reasons, if I were dealing with grief, a drink might seem appealing. Here they are, with my thoughts on each:

1. To numb out. The problem with this is that alcohol is a depressant and tends to intensify emotions. So, while we'll be numb once we pass out, the pain will most likely be WORSE until then AND after then. And grief is unique in that there is no way to healing except through it. You can't go under it or over it or around it .... and if you avoid it, you'll just be stuck on the other side, without healing.

2. A case of the "who cares". We focused an entire meeting around this young man, which is proof that people DO care. I encouraged him to connect with another guy in the room and be accountable by text or phone daily for the next month. He did.

3. Fatigue. Do you know the prophet Elijah in the Old Testament? There's a great story about when he was running from Jezabel and her armies. Most of the prophets had been slaughtered, and she was after him. And he got depressed. Very depressed. He prayed for God to take his life. Instead, God took him to a cave, put him into a deep sleep, and when he woke up, fed him (by sending ravens with food). God didn't tell him to suck it up. He didn't condemn him for his feelings. He made him sleep and eat. My thoughts are that we need to be extra diligent about getting sleep and food during times of emotional crisis. A tired, hungry person doesn't tend to make great choices.

Anyway ... that's my book for the day.