my my, where to begin!? we often talk here about RED FLAGS, those big banners flying in our face saying DANGER, STOP, THINK, NO! and your story is chock full of them!
the first meeting: you just TWO WEEKS into yet another separation from your wife. her, basically half your age, WITH another man on a date. both of you making out behind the building. her stating she was IN rehab for opiates (whihc makes one wonder how in the hell lshe could be on a date AT a bar?) and you NOT CARING.
i count six red flags.
you drank together. you drinking is not the issue, her as a supposedly recovering addict IS the issue. and then in your words, she relapsed. actually by taking even one drink the relapse was in motion.
while on this relapse she hooks up with two other women and they have sex, and then she thinks she's gay.
later on, when you THINK she's clean, she's actually been using and not only having sex with other men but taking photos on her phone. note - the drugs did not MAKE her do that....that's the oldest line in the book.
her poor dear grandfather has died at least twice and is on his deathbed, again. you seriously could not have bought that line after hearing it the 2nd time right?
she lives with her daddy. who i suspect is near your age.
now she's stated she can't be with you anymore.
i count at least 19 more red flags. that's a total of 25 in a short two year span. see, when we ignore the first red flag and press on, and then keep ignoring them, thinking if we only hang in there we are bound to get a payoff, we end up with situations like this. it's just doomed, sad to say.
this is one messed in the head chickadee. she hasn't figured out life yet, what she wants, nor has she demonstrated she can stay off drugs. she's just a little 24 yr old girl who hasn't been out in the world much or lived on her own and really done much WITH her life. let her go grow up.