Slowly, but surely, making it!
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northwest Florida
Posts: 493
All she wrote
Hi everyone. I've been here before (literally and figuratively, ha!) and I am back again because I've had a relapse.
I have a pinched nerve in my back which gets treated with monthly trigger point shots and - you guessed it - vicoden. The sober girl in me fought the opiates for months until one day I just couldn't take it any more. I was flat on the floor, sobbing my heart out, and I just couldn't do it. Work was getting pissed, schools where getting pissed and I was getting pissed. So, I accepted a prescription for 7.5 vicu-profen. Tylenol screws up my stomach now, probably from abusing opiates before.
Initially I did behave myself. Of course, the addict in me couldn't be happy with using the drugs as they were meant to be used for... I complained and whined and flirted and cried until I was finally prescribed Percocet 10s. When my prescription runs out (a month supply usually lasts about 10 days, if that) and I can find a roxy, I grab those, too. I am in full blown relapse mode and I am terrified. The pain was/is so intense I just don't know what to do. I will do anything in order to not run out of opiates.
I don't want to be this weak. I hate myself for being in this hole again. What scares me the most is the pain I will have after I jump. Anyway... I'm not really sure why I'm posting here. I guess I'm hoping that seeing this in writing will make me take a step back and see what I'm doing.