Thank you, thank you, thank you......
Believe me - I am in no way expecting a miracle. This may (or maynot) be the start of him finally waking up. I'm not getting my hopes up for anything. I'm going to continue my journey just as I've been. And I will sit back at watch and listen to everything my HP shows me.
My kids safety is my #1 priority and if I even suspect he's been drinking - he will not take them in the morning....(I'm not even considering him taking them for the night yet).
FD - You're right. Not enough time has gone by for me to think he's okay to have our kids overnight. I'm not ready for that and I won't be for some time. He's going to have to prove a lot to me and one of those things being that he is reliable enough to show up each morning to get the kids. I did tell him that I would pick them up after work b/c I don't want my son to call me crying b/c he wasn't there to pick him up ~ AH didn't like me saying that ... oh well!
(I even asked him if he was doing this because he needed to get himself moving in the morning so he can get used to waking up for work when he started back...lol I'm so bad
.)
He did show up today. And 30 minutes after he left the house, my sitter called me to say that he had dropped our daughter off. NO - I'm not surprised. I know his routine and I'm not getting sucked back in to thinking that "this is it". He's done this before. Was really good about showing up for 1 or 2 weeks and then - oops, he's drinking again. I get pissed, yada yada yada. I'm not doing that. I don't have any expectations of him. If he shows up, great...if not, well then back to Plan A. I can only rely on myself.
I also agree that my HP would not give me a sign with one whose judgment is always clouded by alcohol (thank you for that reminder). This could very well be a test ~ and come hell or high water, I'm going to pass.
I will pray every night for stength to not sucked back into the chaos of his alcoholism. I got off that ride - I don't want back on. I have come to far to slip back into that now.
I think that is why I was so confused. I asked for a sign and I got this. It didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. You all have helped me clear my mind. Thank you!!