- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
As with the other steps, I work this one backwards.
"Exact nature of our wrongs". It does _not_ say "apologize", or "feel guilty", or any such. It tells me that I need to understand the _cause_ of my "wrongs" at an intellectual level. I have to dig into my own needs, expectations, fears and desires in order to find out _why_ I have lived my life the way I have. It seems clear to me that I must do this if I am to have any hope of _fixing_ those causes and find a new way to live.
"Another human being". I find that when I examine my life by myself my thoughts drift all over. I have no discipline, or plan, or objective, when all I do is think about my issues. What I am really doing is "thinking about my thinking". If I am honest I must admit that my thinking is not exactly a shining example of mental health.... that is why I am in this forum in the first place !!!!!
When I sit down with another person, in the context of working on _me_, and have to explain all this in words I am in a situation where I _have_ to be organized, I _have_ to be clear, have a plan and a goal. Once I do that I make all kinds of discoveries, simply from being forced to organize my thoughts in such a manner that another person can understand the problem.
"Admitted". That means I have to look at _my part_ in the issues that I have. My parents, and their dysfunction, are the reason I _have_ all these ACoA issues, but once I left the chaos of that family it became _my_ responsibility to "clean out the basement" and get myself fixed. I admit that I spent a few years trying it on my own before I went to see my first therapist, _that_ is my fault. Once with that therapist there were some issues I was too proud to admit, that is also my fault. I had a bit of "ego" going on there, which slowed down my recovery.
This is the logical "action item" that arose from doing my "inventory". Once I have a list of what issues I need to fix it follows that I take that list and get a "second opinion" from somebody wise and trustworthy. I chose a therapist, as that is what works best for me.
Mike
