mecanix

A bit of a waffle friends but something i'm struggling to express so i thought i'd share here .

For me,
realising life was coming to an end faster than i hoped ( not that there is anything wrong with me that i know of) , that it had a limit was a huge motivator in making the rest of my days as good as possible . I realised this wouldn't be possible with alcohol being in the mix .

My base level of enjoyment, satisfaction and engagement with the world is far higher sober than the cycle of binges and drunkenness .

Realising that life and living cannot be without dis-ease and death, that sometimes living is pain , as left cannot exist without right has had a huge impact on me accepting the whole deal .

I cannot have it all , the wealthiest of us in the graveyard is still in the graveyard .

Sometimes i have difficulty in expressing the wonder and the glory i see in every instant of this vibrancy of life i see around me . How by being aware of death it spurs one on to enjoy the both the ups and the downs in such a precious way without clinging, strangling or trying to direct the natural expression of events .

How best to express this to a newcomer or someone recently returned ? i'm not sure they are in the right place to understand , although i don't want to patronise or sugar coat anything , i think maybe my own lack of written articulation might mean is expressed poorly but i think it is worthy of note so i'm kinda putting it out here rather than there.
I hope you all take it in the positive motivational way it's meant, as death in our societies can be seen as a real negative thing , something we don't talk about , something we don't acknowledge .. it is a great leveller and a huge motivator to live and to try and live in glory in my experience.

Alcohol very nearly killed me, and it is a deathly serious subject . Churchill said all i have to offer you is blood, sweat and tears ..

Sometimes thats life, sometimes thats sobriety, it will be painful, there will be disease, i shall die … today is precious , today is glorious . The feel of air on my face , the smell of onions , watching rain roll down the window glass .

Death, ignore it at your peril … Wake up , you are alive ..

I'm not really looking for replies as such, more to try and articulate one way of looking at things i found helpful ..

m