Ann

Indeed, I was, but you know, Chic, I wasn't ready until I was ready. I acted and reacted to my son's 'situation of the day", I got mad at God for not helping...when in fact He was waiting for me to get out of the way. I had my heels dug in deep even when I knew the advice I was getting was solid and true and said with love.

I don't believe that we mamas were meant to be the "soft landing" for our kids. I don't think we were meant to kick them to the curb either. It's finding that loving place where we finally accept that we are being dragged down with them that we finally let go. In the end, hanging on never changed or helped them at all.

What helped me let go was to provide my son with a list of the "real helpers". Detoxes, rehabs all over the province (Salvation Army was free, as were many others here because of our provincial medical coverage), meeting lists, free counseling services, social services, clean houses/sober living and contacts, and any service that I thought might help him. It was quite a list and yes, I was the one who did the work because it eased my mind knowing he had better options than the street. Whether he chose to use them was entirely up to him. I kept copies of the list for when he might be ready at a later time...and to remind myself that there WAS help out there, all day every day, if my son was willing.

I am at peace today, I embrace life and the beauty each sunrise brings. But I remember like it was yesterday how much my heart hurt when I was trying to save my son who was never mine to save.

Love you lots. You will be ready too...in your own time. God will be there and we both know that He can do for our sons what we cannot do for them.

Hugs and Hugs from one mama's heart to another's.