Hi Chicory,
My stepson likely suffers from some form of mental illness/disability, but he has never been diagnosed. He is an alcoholic, crack addict, and well, would take just about anything he could get his hands on.
I won't bore you with the repeated arrests, hospitalizations, etc. What finally hit home with him was his father (my husband) evicting him. It was very hard to think about him being on the street fending for himself, but he is amazingly resourceful. He has realized that he is responsible for himself. It took a while, and he still makes major mistakes, but overall--he's better than he was.
We just had to love him enough to do what was best for him in the long run, even though it was and is painful for us right now. What was best for my stepson in the long run was allowing him the dignity to try and fail and try again--on his own. After all, we won't be around to take care of his messes forever.