Chambo...
I'd encourage you to look for the things you DO relate to at AA meetings, and just allow the things you don't relate to just to be what they are.
A lot of what you see there as diehard commitment to certain tenets is coming from those who have traveled down a longer, harder road than you have. You can think of them as your possible future.... you can look to them as potentially pictures of just exactly where you could wind up if indeed you're alcoholic and choose to continue walking your path with booze.
You're here. You sometimes blackout. You sometimes lose your car.
On your presence and your statements alone, I'm pretty sure that a part of you knows the answer to the question.
If you're looking for feedback, mine would be this;
Keep coming here. Keep going to AA. Try stopping for a while altogether. Look for the parallels between your own experience and those you see and hear around the tables and here. Then, get really really honest with yourself.
You have the answer to your question.
And welcome.
