ruby2 i agree with what you said and as well of course there were very nice things about him too. extremes. and i wanted to be able to keep the good bits and not the abuse. and i kept hoping he would get sober. i have spent long periods alone in sobriety and done a lot of work on myself and it makes it harder to accept that i'm back in this kind of relationship again. autumn2 i would love to know, how did you get your confidence and self esteem back?