He sounds as if he is also addicted to controling you. Maybe also a bit of a Narcissist. I live with a Narcissist and he has some of the same qualities you described in your partner.
As far as him going back to the exes...would they even want him?
My dh used to pull that same stuff on me. He literally tried to break down my self esteem and confidence. I fell for it for a time. Now that I have regained it back, I tell him that he is more than welcome to go to anybody that would have him. Let them deal with the misery. It would be doing me a favor.