Originally Posted by
james186 
It's the same with me, I can't stop once I start. I couldn't really even enjoy the first couple because I knew what was coming - the chaos and horrible dark mood that accompanies my drinking.
It's amazing how when you are like us, drinking really stops being fun and more about chasing a high that doesn't even exist for us anymore. Sometimes that final bender is what we need to see that nothing has changed, and we need to press forward in sobriety. You're back in the right place