Narcistic tendencies or not addiction is a very selfish disease. Recovery or not you will never be first in his life. It's never just as easy as our "fantasy" tells us it is. Stop drinking, attend meetings, get a sponsor and life will be great and grand and love prevails. It doesn't work like that at all. Recovery from addiction is digging deep down into ones soul and pulling out all that hurt, working throught it then relearning allot of healthier coping skills. It takes every second of ever minute of every hour each and every day for them to WANT to work that hard to maintain sobriety. Doesn't leave a whole lot of room for a relationship and relationships take work. Just read on here all the stories of wives and girlfriends who resent the fact that AA and recovery are dominating their loved ones lives and they are still feeling alone.
You have made a healthy decision for yourself and your life. Resolving endings takes times, lots of emotions to process and experience. It's ok to miss someone you no longer can have in your life.
Glad you continue to post and are talking to a counselor. There is no set time to work through grief. And as I mentioned before don't set yourself up by that goal you set of 3 months of no contact as if something magical is going to happen with him in that time period, this is all about YOU and the HOPE that something magically-healthy happens within you.