My alcoholic father used to blame me completely for our lack of a relationship. Heck, he probably still does, I've not been in contact with him for 15 years.
I have very little sympathy for adults who are creating all of their own problems and are incapable of taking responsibility for anything that goes wrong in their lives.
Alanon has helped me enormously in dealing with my acoa issues. Have you tried a meeting? Maybe you and your daughter could go. I wish I had started going years ago.