Originally Posted by
Confused39 
I certainly don't feel as devastated as I first did when he left, I couldn't understand how someone who professed to loving me could do this, would rather drink than be with his family. I still don't understand it but there is nothing I can do it's his decision!
I don't think he would rather drink than be with his family. Although all I have to base this on is my situation, and I know this wasn't the case, he was sick.
I might get my head bit off for this one. I think that the person inside is so far down under the addiction that there is no way to get them out, especially for them to do it themselves. I think they do feel guilt for the things they have done, but they are so far gone that there is no way for them to fix it, so they continue to drink. I don't think that it is a CHOICE for them once they are in full-fledged addiction-yes, bad choices got them to that point, but once they are addicted, the choice is gone. It's not like they wake up and say, "let's see how many lives we can destroy today." They wake up and say, "Let's see how I can get my next drink today."
Addicts are selfish to the extreme-they don't think about anyone else when they are using. They don't care. That said, you don't have to put up with it. Just because he wants to go kill himself with alcohol does not mean you have to be there to experience it. This is why we are different than the addicts-we can see how their disease affects everyone around them, and it is up to us to make sure that we also do not fall into the black hole that is slowly swallowing them.
I think, if he is anything like my ABF, he does love you, but he is sick. And the only thing you can do about it is to make sure that you don't end up just as sick as he does. You are doing the right thing, and it will get easier. Either he will get it or he won't, but either way, you will be healthier, and that is definitely a place where you want to be, no matter where he ends up.