You're a survivor. And I often wonder what makes it so? What makes some children of alcoholics survive and thrive, when others don't?
Welcome -- and I'd love to hear more about how you feel growing up with them affected you. Always feel free to post here. There is also another part of the board specifically for adult children of addicts, here:
Adult Children of Addicted/Alcoholic Parents - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I do not feel safe with my parents. I do not trust my parents. I can't rely on them.
You are a strong and brave person for choosing to cut them out of your life. My kids have made the same choice with their alcoholic father. It's not an easy one, but it's a healthy one when that's how you feel about them. (((hugs)))