Well well well
Hey guys,
Well, as you all know, my last post was about the unfortunate incident poor SD encountered when she went to visit her paternal grandparents, who basically nagged her to contact her AM and said that if her AM drank it would be her fault. Nice. Since then, my MIL has phoned my husband to say that they didn't mean what they said to her and that it was an 'accident'. A flippant, off the cuff remark, maybe said in the heat of the moment, could be accepted. But, this was 25 minutes of a sustained onslaught of making this kid feel guilty and horrible. That was no accident. End of.
Anyway, yesterday SD and I were having one of our heart to hearts. I think, despite her grandparents making her feel so awful, that there is a part of her that would like to begin to think about talking to her AM. So, I asked her. She said that if her AM could prove sobriety (medically), and if the adults (meaning us and her AM) could open up the lines of communication, then she may, at some stage consider accepting 'the odd phone call'. She said she wanted her grandparents kept out of the loop, but we all know that they are far too involved with AM for that to happen. She did say that she didn't think her AM knew about what they'd said to her, because she felt sure that if AM did know she would have text her to offer her reassurance and support. Surely? So I asked her if she wanted me to do anything and she said she wanted me to text her mum to see if she knew how her grandparents had treated her. At 4.35pm yesterday, I sent her mum a text, very basic, saying "Hi, it's NikNox. X has asked me to text you because she's wondering if you're aware of what happened when she visited her grandparents two weeks ago". At midnight, I received a reply - "Yes I am. X (my FIL, SD's grandfather) is very upset and is sorry. He is old and just wants peace. SD has changed and I blame you. You have torn apart what is a mendable situation. Shame on you for your greed". Hmm, slightly baffling, as I had, kind of, expected something like "No, what?" or "Gosh yes, I am so sorry she had to endure that. Please assure her that my drinking has nothing to do with her". But no, it seems she is more concerned with how my FIL is feeling and blaming me. Great, does anyone except my husband, my family and me actually care about this kid?? It seems not.
Today at teatime I got another text from her telling me that it seems I am pushing for 'sides' in this and that she knows her daughter loves her and they will resume their bond soon. I had to reply. So I did, and I told her a few home truths, and I didn't spare the horses so to speak. We shall see I guess, but it felt gooooood!!!!