hugs Chic.....as i've said before, you have more power than you think you do. You make it very easy for him to do NOTHING.
it might be time to draw the line in the sand and mean it. I'm sure that he has more sense than God gave a lemon, he's got you supporting him.
Either he applies for state help or out. he has nothing, he will work. He can't live his life without his internet connections.
I would draw up something in writing, listing what you require for him to be living there. If he does not comply within 3 weeks, pack a garbage bag of his stuff, give him a prepaid cheap cell phone, change the locks.
he is killing YOUR happiness.
(and i know how hard it is to be hard on the kids don't I)?