Hi Jillian! Boy do I know that cycle! I had a lot of other circumstances that helped me finally say I can't do this. The fact that you are here and you posted says you are facing breaking the cycle. Don't drink today. Try it, see how it feels....most likely you will be uncomfortable, physically and mentally, let this discomfort be your wake up call! Think about your body and what is happening and try to heal yourself inside and out! Keep posting!