I call it the vicious cycle. I used to wake up throwing up while I brushed my teeth swearing I would not drink anymore. 5pm rolled around and a glass of wine made me feel fine again and there I was in that circle I was dying to get out of but kept jumping in. It took me a long time to get tired of the circle, tired of the guilt and tired of the pain. Jumping out of the circle was one of the hardest but one of the most rewarding thinngs I have ever done.