its good yer seeing what alcohol is doin to ya. it reads like yer in a pretty bad place now.
as coraltint mentioned, yer gonna have to be willing to take suggestions from people, which theres a LOT of people here that have been in yur shoes and have overcome the drink problem. but it hasn't happened by repeating the same viscious cycle. there has been the necessity for change, but without willingness, it doesn't do much good.
so are ya willing to to take some suggestions? willing to do whatever it takes to stop drinking?
for me, getting sober was the hardest thing I ever did. I don't say that to scare you, but the truth is I was at the point of desperation- the pain of getting drunk exceeded the pain of reality and if felt that if I took another drink I would kill myself. I would not like to see you go that far down.
yes, it was hard for me to get sober, but worth every single second of the fight.
staying sober has been pretty easy. however, my thinking got me to the point of desperation so it wasn't gonna help me. I had to use other peoples thinkin- people that had been in my shoes at one time.
sobriety has been a blessing and a pretty wild journey! nope, not always sunshine and blue skies, but I don't want to drink!.
ive had a LOT of fun in sobriety. done things I never thought I would or could.
I still remember my 1st concert sober- Crosby,stills, and nash. all them years of attending concerts high and drunk and there I was in awe.
did you know not everyone that goes to concerts gets high and/or drunk???( especially at an old hippie concert!) theres actually people that attend concerts stone cold sober!!!
and it was awesome!!
sending out some prayers for strength and courage for ya, Jillain!