I posted this? Pretty cringe worthy stuff. I made it to the church where the meeting was supposed to take place but there wasn't one there. The AA site clearly needs updating.
They had some chickens and rabbits that enticed me out back though, I ended up passing out there in a hedge for a while, got rained on a lot too while I was out. Woke up in a sorry state, I don't remember much of getting home. That will be a story to recall when I'm answering one of those surveys 'Do you have a problem with alcohol?'
Seriously though, I need to draw a line under the past and move. I need to get out there, job, friends.. human contact. I blew my last life away like a fart. I've drank myself into a pretty crap place. I'm convinced I have tunnelling thoughts my thinking is all wrong. I know it's all out there for me though, I just don't see it. I gotta make it happen.
Gonna take a break though from SR 'till I put the drink down. I've struggled with it more recently. Making a plonker of myself.
I want what you all got though, you know. I'm amazed when I read people that are on day 3, people that have a week. The people that no longer even think about drinking.
I better go again.. I'm getting too anesthetized to think again. I'm tapering with beer and water though. When I wake up next time the plan is to to anything BUT drink. As old Marcher friend Northlander suggested ( yeh I do read and value every post) go for a walk somewhere. Anything BUT drink when I wake up.