Originally Posted by
JimJim 
mm that's what I think, It can never be bad to meet new people I think.
I have been drinking though, which isn't so good. I desperately need to make something change, though.
I can never describe my self hatred and lack of self worth enough here on SR.
I know I'm posting a load of bollucks again.
I think many of us, myself included can understand the self loathing you are describing.
I noted that you have read the big book and decided its of no use to you.
I would mention that it is for people in recovery, and you are still drinking.
There is much wisdom in that book, despite my prior insistence to the contrary. I have rediscovered it, only with a year + of sobriety. Its amazing how perspective changes.
Maybe quit for a while, have someone with more experience in sobriety help walk you through things?
Glad you are going to a meeting. There will no doubt be good people there.
The fact that you come back here and that you are willlnig to go to a meeting means that there IS hope for you, IMHO.
You might hate yourself now, but you can BECOME someone you respect again.