sunnybaz

Hey guys! I went to my first AA meeting today. I just wanted to share my experience because I had a lot of questions and trepidation going into it... on top of all the other emotions that I'm actually "feeling" right now on day 4 of sobriety.

Went to my particular state's AA website to find the schedule and found a TON of meeting locations and times as well as codes and meeting names. I was a little confused and so I just called the number that is staffed 24 hours a day and spoke to a lovely gal. She helped me out and even explained the format. She pointed me to a meeting that would allow for my sister to attend with me in support and she had attended that particular location herself and thought it was perfect for my first time.

Then we got to the meeting.......... oh boy.

I started crying in the parking lot and didn't stop until I walked out an hour later. It was nerves and the fact that I was really following through with admitting that I am truly powerless over this beast.

The meeting had a group leader that explained what was going to happen during the meeting, announcements for other AA activities for the month and introduced 2 different speakers who were to read from "the big book". The readings were - eh. Only because they are new to me and it was a lot to hear and take in as a newbie. Then they asked if there was anyone new to AA. I introduced myself through a sea of tears. I followed suite and said my name is ____ and I believe that I am an alcoholic. Then they passed out chips for sobriety tenure. I got a 24 hour chip. Totally cool. There was someone who also got a 24 hour chip as they had relapsed and everyone cheered that that person was back. From there it was a ton of sharing. Every story resonated with me. I found myself shaking my head because I could relate over and over with the stories weather it came from someone with 1 year or 28 years of sobriety. I cried so much and so hard and nobody judged. It was like I had found a room full of me's. I did not speak and there was absolutely no pressure to share. I don't think I could even form words at that point anyways. But it was all good - I was happy to listen and just take it all in.

At the end they presented me with a free book.. totally took me off guard and about 7 people came up to me and hugged me and gave me a list with their names and numbers. Each and every one of them said "welcome home". I was in awe of the sheer comfort that I felt. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced.

If you have any fear at all about attending your first meeting, please please take my word for it as it is so unbelievably worth it. I thought it would be all about God and religion and boy was I wrong. Not to offend anybody's beliefs but I didn't want to hear if you find God, you'll find sobriety. It was all about whatever you feel and believe in and the members were split and it was obvious in the content of their sharing and it was all completely okay and safe. That was a run on sentence but I can't explain how cool it was.

I realize this is Alcoholics Anonymous and so I hope I haven't broken any code by sharing what I have. I just had so much doubt and anxiety and have read that others feel the same. It is so worth it and I actually can't wait for tomorrow's meeting.

Thanks again for all your support and congrats to all us newbies for keeping on. I wish your first experience to be as amazing as mine.