This is not a pity party. I had a REALLY rough 6th day. So bad I feel nauseous and lightheaded. I have been doing so well, I mean positive and WELL. I went to work tonight, (restaurants/bar work), and for the first time in months they are having a vodka and beer tasting. All employees belly up to bar, I said I wasn't drinking which got the shocked reaction and "peer pressure" rolling. I did it though. I didn't "sample", I didn't go out after work with everyone and I came home to talk to my husband. He is so proud and so am I, but why am I on the verge of crying and screaming? Why can't I be one of those casual drinkers? Why do I have this "affliction"? Why do I have to struggle to not go over the edge and drink? Sorry, I am having a huge negative night. I have no intention of drinking, that's not the issue. I guess the issue is this whole night I feel like a problem, like the problem, like I am not "normal" and I will have to now to live with that label for the rest of my life. Sorry, just a really bad night
feels better to get some of that out....