Originally Posted by
freedragonfly 
I do have trouble forgiving myself. I obsess about things and dwell on them. It is hard for me to let go. This is destructive though as then it makes me want to drink to forget. then I do more things I regret. I never black out so remember it all. So then I feel more guilt and the cycle continues with me trying to drink to forget. Need to stop it.
I've found that I need actions to neutralize these feelings. Apologizing did nothing to me. Of course we cannot change the past and it does not even make sense to question it much, but in many situations we can DO something for the people that we hurt, even if it's unrelated to the past story. The best way, for me, is to actually not apologize excessively or talk about the past too much and humiliate myself over and over, but find new and creative ways to make those "amends". Sometimes in ways they don't expect. Then you see the reaction, and it's very rewarding. Try it in some way you can
