Welcome to SR!
I'm sorry you have to be here but you have found a great resource. Please check out this link as it is for the friends and family of alcoholics.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
There are many of us there who know exactly what you are going through, the fear, the confusion, the sorrow and the anger. We have all been there.
Your friend,