Be patient with your husband, GF. This whole dignity and sobriety thing is pretty new, not just to you, but to him. Part of my husband's problem with me was the way I always needed to escape from difficult situations--and getting drunk and incapacitated was a large part of that.
One day before I found SR we were discussing my various failures at quitting, and he said, "I guess I can see why you drink, and I don't mind--but it makes me lonely to think that I'm going to grow old with somebody who's still in junior high."
I felt bad for him, because I have been really immature over the years.
Since I've gotten sober, though, and especially since I've been on SR, some of the dynamic has changed in our marriage. Before I used to just take everything that life (and my husband) threw at me lying down because I was too lazy to fight for my beliefs--but I would passive-aggressively drink to rebel.
Now I am willing to make the effort to speak my mind (gently, but completely) in every area, even areas in which I have typically felt the most helpless. Much to my shock, my husband is capitulating without trying to shout me down!
At other times in my life, I would take it and take it, then get fed up and explode and lay down a bunch of ultimatums. My husband found that highly unreasonable--and I have to admit, it was lopsided of me. Plus, as soon as I vented, I found that I was calm enough to just continue with the status quo.
Loud manifestos don't really impress husbands.
I have found that out!
Just do whatever your hand finds to do now that you're sober. Develop your interests. Always speak your mind
calmly. Now that you're sober, he will be bound to respect you more because you'll be more capable of handling responsibility, so he will find less justification to make you his verbal punching bag.
At least this is my two cents from my perspective.
Maybe you have other ideas if your situation differs.