I somehow can't help but think of relationship wisdom I'm partial to....the only way to change a relationship is by having the strength to let it go. The logical part of me truly believes that it is far more loving to not watch an addict die standing helplessly by. I realize it takes herculean strength to say get help or I'm leaving and then leave if they don't yet I do believe it allows the addict the choice he has to make for himself. Plenty of addicts die with loving spouses right by there side doing everything from driving them to doctors, AA meetings and reaching out to other addicts for insight.
This is a choice he has to make and perhaps he needs more reason to make it. Emotionally I understand that is a very hard thing to do. My heart hurts for you. I also agree you need to find support for you.