Paul,
We both joined this site at the same time, and I remember your struggles from two years ago. Today I celebrate my two years of sobriety. It CAN BE DONE. You just have to want to do it. It seems like you SORT OF want to do it, but you know that once you reach out to someone, you can't go backwards, but that is the idea! There is NO SHAME in asking for help. You need help. You are very very sick and your body isn't going to put up with the abuse for much longer. Tell your parents, go see a doctor. No one will laugh, or think horrible things. They will want to help you.
For me, telling someone was the ONLY way I got sober. I needed someone else to hold me accountable, because I couldn't do it myself. Here I am two years sober now.
YOU CAN DO THIS.