iamthird

I have been doing pretty good for the most part...finally settling in to new apartment. A lot has happened since I last posted. I spoke about how the one stable thing after recuperating from illness was my job...then I got laid off! Rough times!

I got a new job. I am still battling...I swear it feels like I cant catch a break sometimes. I never completely block separated AH because of our 6 year old daughter and exchanging her, etc...

It seems like every weekend he has been drunk. The last time he came for her I dont believe he was drunk but I handed him the paperwork for her daycare that needed to be paid and then he started to criticize my choice of daycare (community center summer day camp) and I said its not really negotiable because she has to go to daycare if he and I both work, so theres not much of an alternative because neither of us have family of origin to count on. But instead of just taking the paperwork and going, he started insulting my choices and then making fun of me for losing my job.

He never tells me I am a good mother, ever. I guess this is where you guys will tell me I am looking for bread in a hardware store. I know this is the reality, but it doesnt hurt any less. I know he is an active A living it up right now, while I struggle...but I just wish he would just have taken the paperwork and left.

Its like "ok the relationship didnt work, but do you have to just be an a$$ on every level?"...I am the one picking up the pieces of this broken marriage and family and he just continues over and over again to spew hatred at me. It is so painful!!! I am good for the most part but right now I just needed to vent!!