Originally Posted by
Raidersfan13 
Hi all, i have been struggling with alcohol for about 7 years now. It started when i had my first drink in college, and i havent been able to stop since. I thought it was normal to get blacked out at college- but very quickly i learned i was so different than everyone I cant control myself once i start, I drink past blackout, am an angry drunk, and wake up the next morning making an ass of myself. This pattern repeated itself, and got progressively worse after graduation, and now im at the point where i drink alone since most of my friends dont want anything to do with me.
In march i had an eye opening event where when i was under the influence, i wandered into a bad part of town and got lost. There i walked into some very bad people who held me against my will for over 18 hours, robbed, took advantage of, and beat me. Since that event i vowed never to drink again, and frankly i should be dead right now.
I thought that would be the catalyst for change, and i went over 2 months sober and started slowly rebuilding my relationships with my family and friends. That was the longest i have ever been sober. Then l thought i was under control, and went to the bars again this weekend and met some old friends. I proceeded to disrespect them, make an ass of myself, and heavily damage my relationships with them, and some coworkers i ran into as well. I now have no friends, will likely lose job once word of my actions spreads, and dont know what to do.
All of my problems are directly and indirectly related to alcohol, and i need to cut this addiction out of my life for good. I know if i continue down this path i will be dead or in jail.
Any suggestions or thoughts on my situation? Do i have a problem, or am i just mentally weak? Should i see aa- i feel like im too young and people wont be able to relate to me. Also i have the shakes so bad from withdrawal and will probably break down crying so i dont want to embarrass myself again in front of people. I just dont know what to do
Thank you for listening, i just had to get that off my chest
Your story doesn't sound all that different than mine. I can be an angry drunk and I blackout and get myself in crazy situations. Your story of being robbed hits home, I was half-blacked out once, wandered into a bar in a bad part of town, and ended up being robbed at gunpoint. I only have a few shadowy images of what happened, but it didn't scare me straight, sad to say. I boozed for another 3 years. The shakes will go away. I'm on day 4 and they're gone. This website has helped me so far, although I have a long way to go.