Yes, anykey, it falls apart. I mean, she has confided previously about being uncertain about a few shady situations - nothing overt that she mentioned, but enough for her to have some suspicion/ insecurity. Maybe it's just who I am, but 16 years, and this is not just a mis-step. We are all together a lot. How can i just sit there and feel he harbours secret feelings for me - that doesn't make me comfortable. And it's my sister, how can I know that if he did this with me, he's not doing other things behind her back. I don't want her to lead a life built on a lie. I also feel betrayed by him, who was someone I trusted.
It happened to me - spent 6 yrs with a guy and then he left me for another girl, and after a some people let slip (maybe they thought I knew) he had cheated. That was tough - I spent my time faithful to him and I could have rid myself of that relationship a lot sooner. I hated being kept in the dark.
It also happened that a highschool friend of my husband's did this with me, one drunken night. He tried to apologize the next day but it ruined the friendships. I never told her because we hadn't been close, but few years later, after kids, she found him in bed with a coworker. That was that.
She just came over. I told her. Some of you are right - she didn't collapse - maybe she knew on some level. Said she didn't blame me but left quickly saying she was going to get her kids and would call me later. She said I couldn't have not told her. Now, I wait. Thanks everyone.