Silkpin,
I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this awful position.
I was in a similar situation many years ago. My husband (at the time) and I often spent time with my best girlfriend and her husband. Friday night pizza and cards. The kids all played. We had lots of fun. There was a time I remember when they stopped coming over for a while. Seemed odd. My husband would have something negative to say about my girlfriend when we discussed their absence . We moved on. Things returned to normal. Time passes and things change. We move out of state. I retain my friendship with my best friend. Husband (not an A) and I divorce. Only at that time, after the divorce, did she and others step up to tell me about the actions of my husband. He made a pass at her. She made it clear to me exactly what she felt would happen if she had told me at the time. I would have been crazy. I would have confronted my husband and that would give him the opportunity to deny it and who would I believe...my husband or my girlfriend? She felt that my loyalty would be to my husband and then that would be the end of our friendship.
I am grateful today that she was wise and valued our friendship.
I encourage you to stay on your side of the street. People are stupid sometimes. You are not responsible for his stupidity. What you are responsible for is your own perspective on the situation. You have a choice. There will be no winners here if you get involve. Maybe laugh it off as a joke.
Hugs!