Raider, I don't think I can hide this from my sis. Physically. She will know something is terribly wrong in my face. Just even not responding to her calls today. I don't even know if I can speak with her I'm so anxious. I can't just pretend it didn't happen. How can I walk into the living room and hang out? Sit and eat dinner with this huge elephant in the room?
We were drinking, but not in a ***** kind of way. I'd had a few glasses of wine, and I was going to leave on my final glass cuz the bottle was done (me and my sis had shared, I didn't have the whole thing). He offered me a cognac, and I was sipping that. I can't imagine he was blacked out crazy. He was functioning, putting wood on the fire, we were talking about family stuff - I mean it was ridiculously out of nowhere. But the bell can't be unrung. And I still can't believe that he acted on the impulse instead of just running fast - I mean did he think I would do something?????? Really??????? Is he just a secret effin pig and has been able to hide that for 16 years? In what alien universe could he ever think I would respond - I mean my sis and I are basically inseparable!!!!!!!!