silkspin

Hi all,

It's been a long time since I posted. My husband is the A; he's in recovery and we're doing ok. We're making things work. It's not him, but I just didn't know where else to turn, I'm so sick with what just happened.

Last night, my sister and her husband of 16 years had me over - she's down the block, for a drink and they had a fire going in their yard. Our families are very close, we are at each other's places almost daily, kids play etc.

She was tired and went to bed early, and my BIL and I stayed up for a few more drinks. And then.......HE MADE A PASS AT ME.

I was dumbfounded. Just dumbfounded. I still can't believe it. I don't know what to think. I was shocked and said what the hell? He said he was attracted to me. Nothing even remotely in my wildest dreams could have predicted that moment to me - there has never been an inkling of anything like that, ever.

I just upped and walked away, and started bawling on the way home. I woke my husband out of a deep sleep, a drunk and crying mess and it took him about an hour to calm me enough to sleep.

To me, this is life-changing. Things are forever altered. I mean, I can't even function today under the weight of this. My sis and I speak sometimes several times a day - we watch each other's kids and even work closely together. I mean, even if I wanted to I couldn't hide it. And why would I - I mean I can't not tell her. And then her life will be irrevocably altered. How can we ever get over this - I mean even if it were a drunken mistake how can I ever look him in the eye, and it also likely means the relationship with my sis is done - how will she ever be able to look at me and not be reminded what her husband did?

I just want to crawl out of my skin and I can't. I'm in agony over this. My husband and I are just in absolute shock. I just needed to get this out anonymously, I can't tell anyone else. What the hell am I going to do?

My god in a few short weeks we're all going on vacation together with some other family members - how can that even happen??????? I can't even process this.

The phone has rang several times - we were supposed to go there for coffee this morning and I'm guessing it was her calling, not him. I even had a sickening thought that maybe he doesn't remember, which would even be worse, although I just can't imagine he was that wasted. We weren't heaving them back, at least I wasn't, but we're not heavy drinkers especially me because of my husband. And just earlier in the night we were talking about my husband and his difficulty with not drinking and being in social situations, and my BIL had been saying my husband is like a brother. Like I just don't even get where in his brain it was even ok to do that knowing how close we all are? Even if he felt it, my god, bury it! Take it to your effin grave before crossing that line......

Thanks for virtually listening.