I have discovered that I am a garden variety drunk. No better or worse than the 100 + alcoholics I know. The only real difference is how far down the alcoholism road we travel before we sober up or die. It sounds like you have not lost too much yet. In A A we talk about the "Yets" We haven't lost our loved ones, marriages, freedom, health, children, jobs and everything we love and value YET. I can say with absolute certainty that the YETS will happen if we continue to drink. Unfortunately I had to experience many of them before I decided that I had had enough.
We can get off the roller coaster anytime we want. It is not easy but it can be done