In 22 years of sobriety there is one book that has stood out from all others in helping me. With persistant effort I have come to understand my behaviour. I thought I would start posting odd quotes from it incase anyone became interested. We might even share our experiences if you decide to use the book.
The book is
The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns MD. It is based on the principles of Cognitive Behaviour.
The first quote;
from page 5
If you want to break out of a bad mood, you must first understand that every type of negative feeling results from a specific kind of negative thought. 'Sadness and depression' result from thoughts of loss. You think you have lost something important to your self-esteem. Perhaps you were rejected by someone you cared a great deal about. You might have retired or lost your job or missed out on an important career opportunity. 'Frustration' results from unfulfilled expectations. You tell yourself things should be different from the way they realy are. For example, "that train shouldn't be so late when I'm in such a hurry. Darn it!" 'Anxiety and panic' result from thoughts of danger. Before you give a speech in front of a group of people, you feel nervous because you anticipate that your voice will tremble and your mind will go blank. You imagine that you'll make a fool of yourself. 'Guilt' results from the thought that you are bad. When a friend makes an unreasonable request, you may feel a twinge of guilt and think, "A really nice person would say yes." Then you may agree to something that really isn't in your best interest. 'Feelings of inferiority' result from the thought that your inadequate in comparison with others. You think, "She's so much better looking than I am" or "He's so much smarter and successful. What's wrong with me?" 'Anger' results from feelings of unfairness. You tell yourself that someone is treating you unjustly or trying to take advantage of you.