Sober for a bit....then you realize
A lot of stuff you never paid attention to. My marriage, for instance, most of these years we both have been wasted. He has been sober since October, me only since February. It's different, not bad, just different. He is extremely quiet. Quite the opposite of me. We have long periods of silence because he is just not a talker. This has not bothered me in the past. Now it does. I've talked to him about it, but this is really the way he is, you can't change someone's personality. He doesn't show love the way I "expect"' but he does show it. He will go to five grocery stores to get me exactly the candy I want. He comes home and brings me stuff I love. He helps with housework. Does all the grocery shopping, and 99% of the errands. I cook, he does all the cleaning. I am trying to come to grips with the way it really is, not the way it was when you're wasted and don't care. This doesn't happen overnight. I don't even know what I'm asking here. I don't even know how I feel about it. Certainly I am not considering trading him in for a new model, what with all that breaking in crap you have to go through, ummm, no.
I'm not sure this is the finest part of sobriety. I don't know. I guess you need to accept who people are, and hopefully they accept you. I'm sure I am not the same sober. I wonder if I am a disappointment to him?
Who knows? I married a non-communicator. Anyone else understand me?