Aiko,
You know what, when I posted to you a month ago I missed the line where you said you had been off alcohol since January, and now benzos too? Aiko, that is not weak, that is huge progress! You should be very proud of yourself. Now you are down to the very last part, I know you can do this.
I KNOW (because I was in exactly your spot almost a year ago) that the dread of going without pills is worse than worrying about them all the time. Now that they are not an option for me I have just learned to slow myself down …naturally. I would have laughed at anyone who told me that was possible, told them they didn't understand I am high strung.
You've got this Aiko, I know you can do it!