Whew! I'm here and I'm sober! Thank God for you all.
I had to make a couple stops on the way home (not alcohol related). When I got home I did exactly what everyone here said. I thought the night forward. I thought about how I wanted to feel tomorrow. I told myself, yes, it is a beautiful Friday night, gorgeous outside, and definitely worth celebrating. Why in the world would I want to numb myself to it when I could experience it fully and joyfully?
I also came right out and told my mother and older son that I wasn't drinking anymore. Period. That I felt better sober and was happy with my choice. Even though my mother already had a buzz on she said she was proud of me and at she needed to cut back herself. Abstinence isn't something she can fathom yet.
So I went outside and had some lemonade tea, got the kids working on their chores, and feel more centered now.
We are going out with friends tomorrow night, with whom we often drink. I made it through the night with them once without drinking, though I was hungover at the time, but I know I can do it. I need success tonight for self confidence tomorrow. I'm also coming clean with my husband and telling him in advance that I'm not drinking and I want him to help support that, which I know he will do.
Whew. Deep breaths. I know these feelings will come up over and over and I just need to work through them, and listen to people who have gone through it and come out the other side. I know it is possible.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
