Hey! I know that feeling, like your brain has switched gears on you. I had this happen while driving to the market one day. Wanna know what set me off? A frickin speed limit sign. Except that it wasn't a speed limit sign. It said 0.08 Alcohol Limit. My dumbass brain started wondering how many drinks I could have and still be legal. It devolved into wondering how much I could drink and still be able to drive well enough to not get busted. WTF brain?????
I pulled into the market parking lot and I felt it. I was dancing in the danger zone. I called my husband and told him how I was feeling and promised him I wouldn't buy a drink. I did my shopping, got back in my car and called my sponsor. I felt so much better after coming clean about my feelings. I felt like I took an experience that could have been very bad and turned it onto an example of my honesty and trust.
Keep coming here and consider calling someone about how you're feeling. I struggle with personal accountability so I make sure I'm at least accountable to my sponsor and husband.