I am absolutely and resolutely against what ifs. You guys know that, I have said it before. They are banned in my house. UNLESS we are speaking of the Zombie Apocalypse or What Sort of Tree House my daughter Will Live in When She is a Grown Up and Will It Have Zebras or Spider Monkeys or Both. Definitely Sock Monkeys.
I have been in your place, on my knees, sobbing, but in the bathroom, thinking the razor in the drawer might be the best choice to end all of the misery so I would not have to wake up to one more day of torture, hatred, ugliness that I could no longer bear because I was just so mentally and physically exhausted. Your post really hit home. I think we forget that its OUR LIFE. This is MY LIFE, and I will make the choices, good or bad, and only I know the totality of the experiences I have lived. No one else gets to tell me what life has been for me, especially the parts that they were not around for. I lived that way for too long, and to hell with that. Once I realized it, it was like I had superpowers or big muscles or something. My mouse persona went away and the lioness came out. Is that too cheesy?? I am right there with you sista, the abuse stops now, cuz we won't take it anymore...
Cue the song... WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT.....NO! We ain't gonna take it......