I didn't start blacking out until the last couple of years of drinking (a couple decades worth). Unfortunately I remember a lot of my stupidest and most frightening drunks because I was still aware but completely out of my mind. Last year was on a business trip out of state and went out to the bar with a coworker about 10 yrs younger than me. He started buying shots and I mistakenly thought I could keep up just like the "old days". At some point a little light went off in my head that said "go back to the hotel NOW". I told him I had to leave and walked out. I left my vehicle in the parking lot (the hotel was within walking distance) and headed toward the hotel. At some point I tripped and fell face first into the asphalt, scraping my face badly and causing a gushing nosebleed. I stumbled into some bushes and passed out. Hours later I woke up covered in urine. I stumbled back to the hotel, covered in blood and pants soaked in urine. Luckily it was 2 or 3 in the morning so no one saw me. Until... I made it back to my room, undressed except for a t-shirt and boxers, came out of the bathroom and in my drunken confusion stepped into the hallway and locked myself out of my room with no card key. Had to go down the stairs to the front desk and beg the concierge to give me a replacement key.
Next morning I woke up, face swollen and gashed up, unable to use my right hand (somehow I tore a tendon), black eye, swollen nose. At first I was pretty sure I dreamed the front desk incident but as the day wore on I realized it really happened. I packed my stuff up, walked back and got my vehicle, and left town after calling in for work and saying I had to leave for an emergency.
This was a great contract job I had landed, it paid well and if I hadn't of pulled this stunt I would still be getting work from them. It took 4 months for my hand to get back to normal. I think about incidents like this from my drinking days and how each time the ramifications would send me off on another random path through life. Like a hockey puck getting smacked from one direction to another.
BTW, I have 3 weeks today, it seems like a miracle.