Originally Posted by
pauladmits 
Thank you all. Today's off to a rough start. I feel trapped and already gave in. At a loss for words.
Paul,
Glad you are here and posting. The thing is, alcoholics cannot control how they drink once they start. It may not be catastrophic every time you drink, but I'm willing to bet that every time it's catastrophic, you've been drinking.
You never have to drink again, but the reality is that your solution has to be stronger than the problem. Half measures simply didn't cut it for me. Keep at it until you are able to commit to whatever solution is strong enough.
Good luck - sobriety is more than worth it.