It's the end of a relationship, regardless of him being an A. You're going to mourn the loss, and that's ok. Just remember what got you to this point. A relationship takes two people, and one person can't "make it right" on their own. If you have some of his quackery saved anywhere easily accessible, reading or listening to it can help snap you back to focusing on now. I'm not saying listen to voicemails or read email or messages obsessively and pine for him. I mean go through the crazy sh*t that sent you for the door in the first place. He is still that person, and that's what awaits you if you go back. (((Hugs)))