I really needed to read that jaynie04, thank you! Until I accept that I can never ever drink again I'm always going to be thinking about booze. I'm slowly understanding that there is no other option for me. I have to accept the fact that I can never drink again. I was sober for 5 months while I was training for a marathon and I knew I was going to drink after the race was over. I think I was more excited about drinking at the end of the race than I was about finishing the darn thing! Twisted!