Thread: Moderation???
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Old 05-23-2014, 01:47 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Wendolene
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 77
Hi,

I think the important question is what caused you to pick up the drink in the first place. For me, it was a combination of very low self-esteem and severe anxiety disorder.

I tried to moderate back in September last year, only a few weeks sober after a detox. It worked for about two months. Then, I went out a couple of nights in succession for my birthday, and started to realise what I had been missing. This was far from a good thing. Fast forward to January, and my drinking had spiralled completely out of control. I was an anxiety-ridden mess, drinking nearly three bottles of wine a day for at least a week before I was admitted to a rehab centre for three weeks, where I underwent my second detox.

I have attempted to address the anxiety and low self-esteem, both inside rehab and out, with a combination of CBT, counselling and, at the moment, but I hope not indefinitely, medication as recommended by the doctor. I am still suffering, albeit to a lesser extent, and feel far from truly getting the upper hand on my condition.

Bottom line is: until I feel my reason for picking up in the first place is under control, I will not 'kiss that glass' again. This may be in a year, 5 years, or never. At the moment, I know it's the worst thing I could possibly do. Whenever I get the cravings and remember what I considered to be the 'benefits' of alcohol, I try and instead remember how desperately ill it made me, and the discomfort I had to endure detoxing to get better again. For me, it just isn't worth it.

As Dee has said, we must have sought solace in these forums for a reason.

Look after yourself,

Wendolene x
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