Hey everyone. Thought I'd update and go along with threads as the days go on to chart my progress. So I'm on day 5 now. Longest I've ever gone I think is 3 months before. Of course, I went back to it big time for over three years following those 3 months. But this time I feel so different.
It's like I've been given a true second chance at life. It's like I am going to be able to finally say goodbye to this awful alcohol that threatened to take so much from me. After just five days, my stomach no longer hurts, my head feels clear and I'm starting to notice wonderful things that I'd missed before. Just simple stuff like how amazing the rain sounds when I'm tucked up in bed and how quiet my own mind is now I'm not worrying about what the outcome will be of my next binge (it still fills me with owner that although I was constantly terrified of my behaviour and the consequences of getting drunk, I still did it. Isn't that crazy!! Feeling terrified to do something yet actively pursuing what you're afraid of).
So yes here I am at day 5. I've had three cigarettes in 5 days (only ever smoked when drinking but as I would drink 5-6 times a week and smoke around 20 cigarettes a time) I feel not too hard on myself about that. I can give up completely but right now if I'm having one cigarette but eating nicely and drinking water and tea, who can put me down about that?
I also realise I must never allow myself to be complacent or too comfortable in my sobriety - I know the devil himself waits and will wait a longh time to tempt me if needs be. I must be wise to look after myself and the people I love. I am finding this forum so helpful. Thank you, everyone here
your support proves invaluable at this time.