Originally Posted by
Lucrezia 
Is there hope for me? Or does it sound like I'm just not in a place to quit. Like I don't want it badly enough. I feel like when I tried to quit before, there was nothing else that could possibly feel as good as drinking made me feel. I need more satisfying things in my life I guess. I know that life isn't all peachy - and that there is a lot of pain too - but I would like to be able to handle this life without relying on alcohol. I want to be free of it. But.... do I want it badly enough? I'm so torn.
There is hope for everyone. I do personally feel that one does have to want it badly enough though. Looking back at my own personal experience I realize that it was the case for me - i tried many times but didn't really want it enough and I failed many times as a result. Looking back at that same period of time I also now realize that it was a monumentally selfish decisionon my part to keep drinking. I always thought that my drinking only affected me, but it affected others around me, deeply.
My personal perspective now that I've been sober for a while is that sobriety is far more satisfying that active drinking, without question. My hope is that you can find the strength to want it before you destroy your own life and the lives of those around you - because that is a 100% guarantee if you are truly an alcoholic.